| Genetically
engineered body parts are grown from low
grade cheese. Mr. Wing Lee calmly
feeds a human head pure MSG as part of
his secret process. |
Factoids
At A Glance:
- He
was Brad Pitt's college roommate at
Garden City Jr. College from 1981
to 1986. Claims that he genetically
altered Mr. Pitt's face and is responsible
for his success.
- He
was expelled from the Long Island
City Culinary Institute in 1988 for
"Unorthodox Methods".
- Mr.
Wing Lee was convicted for Organ Theft
in 1993 and again in 1995.
- Mr.
Lee was refused entry as a contestant
for "Iron Chef" in 1999 for declaring
"Cheese & Sweet Nectars" as an
individual course.
- Wing
has personally catered all Disk-O
events since 1998.
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Startling
new evidence revealed in this first time Disk-O
Conspiracy Sprocket Exclusive:
New
York Chinese Take-Out Restaurant is Front for
Horrible Genetic Experiments!
Some
of our long-time readers will undoubtedly recognize
the name Wing Lee as the exclusive caterer for
Disk-O magazine. After years of loyal
patronage we were horrified to discover that
Mr. Lee was violating all the laws of nature
as well as several serious health department
regulations by growing dismembered body limbs
in his kitchen.
When
asked directly about his irregular activities,
Mr. Lee explained "The human body is a mysterious
and wonderful thing. Through my ongoing
experiments I discovered the basic building
blocks of life could be found in many of the
sweet nectars wasting away in our grease trap."
He went on to further explain... "For instance,
did you know that the
genetic
make up of a block of Velveeta cheese contains
87% of the same characteristics as you or me?
By adding pumping MSG through the circulatory
system of a block of cheese, it is possible
to breed an endless supply of human organs and
body parts."
Experts
claim Mr. Lee has perfected a technique now
called "#6 Hot and Spicy Gene Splicing".
"He has accomplished more with rudimentary garlic
sauce and kitchen grease than many so called
established geneticist have achieved with atom
smashers and large government grants" said Dink
Witherspoon, a long time patron of the Wing
Lee Take-Out restaurant. "It's only natural
that they should be jealous - I think he's a
true hero!"
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