I've been sitting in the same chair for 8 hours today, when I think about it a little more I realize that its actually 35-40 hours a week. Subtract time spent ravaging the kitchen for snack sized packets of Goldfish and Oreo Cookies or getting up to use the rest room. I also can't forget about that time that I get up to go stare over my co-workers shoulder for the hell of it. I remain as productive as possible while I sit here staring at a picture of my Chihuahua, "my what a good little dog he is - I think I'll get him a green sweater this winter"..... it's August.

In my state of mind (not mentally sound mind you) I decide to spend my lunch hour wandering the streets of NYC looking for some action on this fine Summer day when I run into a friend Holly who works around the corner. She was looking quite distressed as she had just had an encounter with some woman at the hot food counter in the deli. She said that the woman was "cheating" and going out of turn, as proper deli food bar etiquette would have it. Apparently the woman had a large stainless steel spork that she had brought in with her (germ phobia maybe) and was ladling up food from each tray in a not so nice manner. What she meant by this was that she was pushed some people out of the way as they were about to spoon up some mac-n-cheese, she just jabbed it with that stainless claw and swiped up the last remaining macaronis. When she got over to Holly's side of the food bar she started going for the fruit, the watermelon to be exact and was dangling the cheesy claw over the fruit cubes. Well Holly was having nothing of it and told the women to back off and wait her turn and that made cheesy claw angry. She started ranting that it wasn't her (holly's) deli and that she could take that watermelon if she wanted to but not without a fight, needless to say a bit of a shouting match ensued and cheesy claw was run out by the people she had "stolen" the mac-n-cheese from. She actually got out without even paying for the food. That is why Holly was so angry, cheesy claw got away with stealing the food and she was sure that it was a scam, I had to agree with her on that one, she certainly was part of the "forceful spork scam".

As I was walking back to my office I was glad that I lived here in this wonderful city where even if your 9 to 5 job is a bore that theres always something going on in the streets below. When I got back to work and was walking back to my desk I passed by my directors office and said hello. I paused and asked her if she had a moment I sat down and proceeded to quite my job, in two weeks I would be free to roam the streets of New York hitting up delis with a spork of my very own. VIVA NUEVO YORK!