As I drove to my local Bank of America branch recently, I noticed something quite disturbing. It dawned on me that Bank of America, upon becoming an acronym, is BOA. Boa! What is a boa? A boa is a type of snake that constricts its victims to death. Was my bank really constricting the money out of me?

I wanted to see if this theory was right, so I went through some of my old bank statements. Upon careful inspection, I saw many service charges that could not possibly be explained. I finally deduced that my theory was right. I wondered if other banks were showing their true colors with acronyms. They were. First Interstate Bank comes down to FIB, which is a lie. Are they lying to you?

I wish it weren't true that my bank could be bleeding me dry slowly. Unfortunately boa's are cold-blooded, unconscionable sneaks that will stop at nothing to kill their prey. Kind of like banks. Reptiles have no place in banking! So, dear friends, the lesson here is to watch what acronym you choose, because their FIB could be the end of you!

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