Management
A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water.
His camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain
that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees an
object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He
crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what
looks to be an old brief case.
He opens it and out pops a genie... "Well" says the genie. "You
know how it works. But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing a
"Senior Manager" ID badge and dull gray suit. You have three
wishes."
"I'm not falling for this." says the man. "I'm not going to trust
anyone in Senior Management .
"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it
looks like you're a goner anyway!" says the genie.
The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the
genie is right. "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful
food and drink."
***POOF***
The man finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever
seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of
delicacies.
"OK, kid, what's your second wish."
"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."
***POOF***
The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare
gold coins and precious gems.
"OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the man says: "I wish that no matter
where I go beautiful women will want and need me.
***POOF***
He is turned into a tampon.
The moral of the story?
If a Senior Manager offers you anything, there's going to be a
string attached.
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The French Lesson
A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns,
unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as
masculine or feminine. "House," in French, is feminine - "la maison."
"Pencil," in French, is masculine - "le crayon."
One puzzled student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" The teacher did
not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she
split the class into two groups, appropriately enough, by gender and asked
them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.
Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine
gender ("la computer"), because:
1. No-one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible
later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half
your pay check on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be
masculine("le computer"), because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE
the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little
longer, you could have got a better model.
