In what one executive described as a "massive sting operation," a janitor at Nabisco Foods International has been fired and blamed for the company's recent financial tumult.

Jorge Vasquez, a janitor at the Fortune 500 company, was ousted after FBI agents discovered he had stolen both office and kitchen supplies from the company's Manhattan offices. Mr. Vasquez, who, it was learned, had been under surveillance for months, was tackled by FBI agents and taken into custody on Tuesday as he walked to a bus stop several blocks from company headquarters. Salt and pepper packets, a box of paper clips and half a roll of transparent tape were found in his pockets. When asked about the items, Mr. Vasquez claimed not to know a word of English. "I'm relieved this is all over," said CFO Charles Broadwater during a telephone interview aboard the company's Gulfstream IV jet. "This type of egregious pilfering has cost the company hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars during the last fiscal year and undermined investor confidence. I, for one, want to assure shareholders, now that the financial hemorrhaging has been stopped, that they can once again feel confident in sinking their life savings into Nabisco."

Broadwater had reason to worry. Nabisco stock had slipped nearly 70% in the past 12 months, causing shareholders to demand stricter guidelines that would have held high-ranking executives accountable for their expenditures. Since the arrest, however, top executives have called for a motion to block any such vote.

"What's the point now?" asked Daniel Greenberg, Nabisco COO. "The source of the company's financial concerns has been rooted out. At this point, anything imposed on executives to limit spending or hold us accountable in any way seems almost Draconian."

Asked whether or not Nabisco will seek an indictment against Mr. Vasquez, Mr. Greenberg made the company's intentions clear. "Jorge Vasquez is everything that's wrong with big business today. Everything. It's high time Nabisco led the way in corporate accountability.

Therefore, I will be asking prosecutors to not only indict Mr. Vasquez, but I would also like to see that he and the eight wetback children he supports be deported." After being told by reporters at a press conference that Mr. Vasquez, a widower, and his eight children were all born in the U.S., Mr. Greenberg amended his comments. "Oh, sorry," he said. "What I meant to say was 'moistback' children."

Upon word of Mr. Vasquez's arrest, shares of Nabisco stock rose 45% to 27 in extended trading.