by Gene Harper
weeks of research, hundreds of dollars spent, and hours of humiliation,
censure, and ridicule, I have decided to release my findings regarding
on-line dating in their complete entirety:
First of all, I would like to explore a
few of the reasons that people choose the internet as a launch pad for
their romantic quests. The web is not only fertile ground for meeting new
people, it offers boundless opportunities for getting to know people mentally
to a larger extent than the 2 minutes and 17 seconds that most of us have
in a bar when we approach the quarry and close in for the proverbial "kill".
I think that an allusion to Swingers at this point might be appropriate.
It is the moment when we all wonder if we should wait 2 days to call
back, or if we are losing control.... Welcome to the new game...where you
can e-mail someone up to 10 times in a day without being thought a psycho
on the blessed internet. There seem to be no rules regarding Instant Messaging
and ICQing, people do what comes naturally, and it is so beautiful to watch.
Because it is such virgin territory, the protocols and rules of modem love,
LAN lust, and world wide woo are being written as we stumble through those
first digital faux pas and test the waters in our silicon boat. A word
of caution, though, a caveat to those who wish to stride off boldly into
the sunset on search of the warm fuzzy pot of endorphines at the end of
the T1 line... If you never had common sense to start with, and want to
give all your personal information to the first Pentium Bundy or Dahmer
you meet, I will not be held responsible for what happens to you! This
is merely a primer, a look inside at the new frontier, a first person perspective
of courting in ones and zeroes.
The Modem Love Guide: